Friday, February 21

dallas.

So wow. It's been a while. A looooong while. I'm so sorry that my blog has been "abandoned" so to say. That I haven't been connecting with you all here, in this so-loved spot that used to be a huge part of my life. I miss it sometimes, I do. I miss the friendships and the correspondence. The love and support.

But I don't miss how much time it was taking away from my family. 

I tried to balance it out, but you know...when you love doing something, it tends to take over more of your life than you expected. And with me being OCD and all...I couldn't just write up a post and be done with it. I'm sure most of you bloggers with families can understand this.

Anyway, I still find joy in writing. It gets my feelings out. It documents my life. So I can't totally give it up. But all that extra stuff that comes along with blogging - it's going out the window.


Why I really wanted to write today, was because it's National Pet Day. And as some of you might know, our dog Dallas is a big part of our family. He's not just a pet, he's our furry baby. Our first baby, before we had any "real" kids. He kinda taught us to be parents.

If you're not familiar with how we came to adopt Dallas, you can read about that herehere, and here. See what he loves to do here and here. And see all my previous posts mentioning our lover boy here. Basically, he adopted us. We were looking to get a dog at some point, but not on the day we ended up taking him home with us. His little 25 lb 10-week-old puppy self in the little blue sweater that he grew out of by the end of the next week. I held him at that "Home For the Howlidays" adoption event when we still lived in Virginia. He peed on me. There was no turning back.


From the beginning, Dallas taught us about life and love. That loving someone else was getting up twice a night for potty breaks {in the freezing cold, snow, wind}, walks twice a day, and letting another warm body take over our bed. Making sure he was fed, healthy, and had treats and toys to play with. Refusing to put him in a cold kennel because he needed a little extra TLC to be happy. Going on walks every day because just saying the word "walk" or putting on sneakers would signal happiness in his eyes. 

He was with us through everything. Moving from Virginia to New York, the birth of both of his little sisters. Who he wasn't quite sure of in the beginning, but who he ended up being the protective big brother to.

Our Dally Boy is unique, and that's part of the reason we love him so much. RJ and I always joked that he was a human, since he acted more like a human sometimes than a dog. He always wanted to be around us, his family. And that's where he was the happiest. I could tell by his body language, the gentle and loving expression in his eyes. Following me around everywhere until we went on that daily walk, sleeping in his sisters' bedroom on the rug. Leaning up against anyone for a good scratch. But mostly it was me. I was his mommy, and he knew it. I have to believe that he knew how much I loved him. 

It's hard for me to write about Dallas in the past tense. Because unfortunately, he also taught us a great deal about loss. About losing not just a pet, but a member of our family. A piece of my heart.

I don't want to go into the details here, because this post is not about his pain and our sadness. It's about our life together. In December, we noticed Dallas acting differently - and three weeks, multiple vet visits, and a few heartbreaking decisions later - we discovered that our boy had cancer. Tumors growing along his spinal nerve. Inoperable, and not treatable. No one wants to hear those words, no matter who they are pertaining to, human or animal. Cancer is an ugly disease, and I hate it. It took a precious soul from our family. And our Dallas pup, he was only 3 years old. Unfair.

New Year's Eve, we said goodbye to our beloved boy. He was wheeled into that examining room on a table, because he couldn't walk anymore. He was in pain. But when he saw us, RJ and me, didn't his beautiful brown eyes just light up! He was so happy to see us. I'm sure he would have been wagging his tail and grabbing his rope to play with us if he could have. I believe that he sensed what was coming, but he was okay with it, because all he ever wanted was to be with us, and there we were. Together. 

We were there with him when he needed us. And even though that day was the hardest day that I've ever had to endure yet in my life, I'm glad we were with him. His last thoughts, feelings, emotions...memories, were with us there with him. Petting him and telling him how much we loved him. That he was the best dog a family could ever have. He was a good dog.


So today, for National Pet Day, I want everyone to know about Dallas and the life he lived. How he was a best friend and a best brother. While I don't know the reasons why our pup was taken from us, I do know that God has a purpose for it.

Whether it's to be a better mama to my girls, or to help other animals find loving homes, or to simply make a difference in others' lives - humans or animals. Being a difference maker. A voice for those who don't have any. An advocate for pet adoption, for cancer awareness. For families. I may not seem like I'm doing much yet, but I just have this feeling God has bigger things planned for me. 

Dallas gave us 3 wonderful, loving years. And taught us so much. My dad had a fear of animals before he met Dallas. They went on walks together. RJs parents cared for Dallas many weekends when we were out of town. My daughter grew up with a dog for a best friend. I can only hope that our boy is now happy, pain-free, running around in grassy green open spaces with walking trails, ropes and balls and squeaky toys. And that we'll be reunited with him some day.

Dallas
August 8, 2010 - December 31, 2013

{This post was inspired by Personal Creations and the Pampered Pets Project.}

10 comments :

  1. So beautifully written. I feel the same way about Roxy. She was my fur baby before I had kiddies and gave me my first introduction to parenthood. I am glad you are finding peace in Dallas' passing by focusing on what's really important to you.

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  2. Kera, I have so missed you posting, but totally understand why you haven't. That said, this was beautiful tribute post to Dallas and know how much you all loved him and he loved you. Thank you for sharing your boy with us here today and I know wherever he is, he totally smiling down upon you. Love you Kera :) xoxo!!

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  3. What a beautiful tribute to such an important member of your family... it brought tears to my eyes. Hugs.

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  4. I did not realize Dallas was so young. That makes it even more heartbreaking, since you had so few days with him. I do believe he knew you were with him when he died, when my childhood dog died it was the same for her. she really did know what was happening and knew she was loved, and I'm sure Dallas did to. I miss you!!

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  5. this post has me in tears, your love for him shined right thru.
    RIP Dallas <3

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  6. April @ 100lbcountdownFebruary 24, 2014 at 8:11 AM

    Sorry for your loss. We miss you but understand.

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  7. I so sorry that Dallas had to say good bye so early, yet you have some great memories with and about him and that is worth millions.
    As for blogging and all that comes with it, I can totally relate as I feel I'm kind of in the same boat, I love to sit down and right but my family does come first and when I find myself in front of the computer and our girls asking me to do something I just have to give in. And by the time I come back, the day has gone.
    Take care!!

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  8. I am so sorry that Dallas had to say good bye so early, yet you have some
    great memories with and about him and that is worth millions.
    As for
    blogging and all that comes with it, I can totally relate as I feel I'm
    kind of in the same boat, I love to sit down and right but my family
    does come first and when I find myself in front of the computer and our
    girls asking me to do something I just have to give in. And by the time I
    come back, the day has gone.
    Take care!!

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  9. I seriously am crying ... Dallas was such a huge part of your life and I am so sorry about the loss. As you know we had just purchased Montana right around the time that Dallas was going through all this and I had to wait to tell you because of it all. I am so glad you wrote about National Pet Day and although your pet is no longer with us, I know you will cherish his memories forever.
    Love you mama.

    xoxo
    Lanaya

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  10. I'm sorry to hear about your Dallas. :( It's never easy when we lose a pet, they really are a part of the family.

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